All things college admissions

Part two of our college essay series - Execute!

Written by Dr. Jessica Ruzicka | Jul 11, 2024

Welcome to Part Two of our college essay series on executing!

We will explain the crucial steps of crafting a captivating introduction and showing rather than telling in your writing. The introduction sets the stage for your essay, making it essential to hook the reader from the start with a compelling anecdote, provocative question, or vivid description. By establishing a connection with the reader and showcasing your main idea early on, you create a strong foundation for your narrative to unfold. We will also explore how using descriptive language, dialogue, and actions can bring your stories to life and create emotional connections with the reader. Remember, authenticity is key in your college essay - be genuine, share your true experiences, and embrace vulnerability to truly connect with your audience. 

Step Five: The Introduction & Your First Impression 

The introduction of your college essay is your first chance to make a memorable impression on the admissions officers. It sets the tone for the entire essay and should immediately engage the reader. Crafting a compelling introduction is crucial, as it can determine whether your essay will captivate the reader’s interest or be quickly forgotten among the many others.

Your introduction should hook the reader from the start. Consider starting with an anecdote, a provocative question, or a vivid description. Avoid clichés and generic statements. The goal is to pique the reader’s interest and encourage them to read on.

Start with a Hook - Your introduction should begin with a hook—a sentence or two that grabs the reader’s attention. A good hook might be a provocative question, a surprising fact, an intriguing anecdote, or a vivid description. The goal is to pique the reader’s curiosity and encourage them to keep reading. For example, instead of starting with a generic statement like “I have always been interested in science,” you might begin with an anecdote: “As the rocket launched into the night sky, my heart pounded with a mixture of excitement and anticipation. That summer at space camp ignited my passion for astronomy and set me on a path of discovery.” This opening line immediately draws the reader in and sets up the story you are about to tell.

Establish a Connection - After your hook, it’s essential to establish a connection with the reader. This means providing some context or background information that helps the reader understand the significance of the story you’re about to tell. This can be achieved by briefly introducing the main theme or central idea of your essay. For instance, if your essay is about overcoming a significant challenge, you might provide a brief glimpse of the challenge you faced and why it was important to you. This helps the reader understand the stakes and sets up the narrative that will follow. By establishing this connection early on, you create a sense of investment in your story, making the reader more likely to stay engaged.
 
Set the Stage - This is the core idea or message of your essay. It should be clear, concise, and directly related to the prompt. The thesis statement or main idea not only guides the rest of your essay but also provides the reader with a sense of direction and purpose. For example, if you’re writing about a personal growth experience, your thesis might be something like: “Overcoming my fear of public speaking taught me the value of perseverance and the importance of stepping out of my comfort zone.” This statement gives the reader an idea of what to expect and why your story is meaningful. A strong introduction ensures that your essay remains focused and cohesive, allowing you to develop your narrative effectively.

Step Six: Show, Don’t Tell

One of the most common pieces of writing advice is to "show, don’t tell." Instead of stating that you are passionate about something, demonstrate it through specific examples and experiences. Use descriptive language and sensory details to bring your story to life. For instance, instead of saying, “I am dedicated to community service,” describe a specific event where you volunteered and the impact it had on you and others.

Use Vivid Descriptions - To show rather than tell, use vivid descriptions that appeal to the senses. For example, instead of saying, “I was nervous before the speech,” you might describe your sweaty palms, the knot in your stomach, and the way your voice quivered when you first started speaking. These details paint a picture for the reader, allowing them to experience your emotions alongside you.

Include Dialogue and Actions - Incorporating dialogue and actions can also bring your stories to life. Instead of merely stating, “I helped my community,” you could recount a specific moment: “As I handed out food at the shelter, a young boy looked up at me with grateful eyes and said, ‘Thank you for helping us.’” This use of dialogue and action not only illustrates your involvement but also humanizes the experience, making it more relatable and impactful.

Show Growth and Change - When discussing personal growth or challenges, showing how you’ve changed is more powerful than just stating it. Rather than saying, “I became more confident,” demonstrate this growth through examples. For instance, “After months of practice and setbacks, I finally stood in front of my peers and delivered my presentation with a steady voice and unwavering confidence.” This approach highlights your journey and the effort behind your transformation.

Create Emotional Connections - Showing instead of telling helps create emotional connections with the reader. By sharing specific anecdotes and detailed experiences, you allow the reader to feel the emotions you felt and understand your perspective. This connection is crucial in making your essay resonate on a deeper level. For instance, describing the moment you first saw your science project come to life, the sense of accomplishment, and the reactions of those around you can evoke empathy and admiration from the reader.

Avoid Generalizations - Generalizations can weaken your essay and make it less compelling. Instead of broad statements like “I love helping people,” provide concrete examples that illustrate this passion. Describe a particular event where your actions made a significant impact on someone’s life. This specificity not only proves your point but also makes your essay more interesting and believable.


Step Seven: Be Authentic

Authenticity is crucial in a college essay. Admissions officers want to get to know the real you, not a version of you that you think they want to see. Be honest and sincere in your writing. Share your genuine thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Authenticity resonates more than trying to fit a perceived mold.

Be Authentic & Avoid AI - Authenticity is crucial in a college essay. Admissions officers read countless essays each year, and they have a keen eye for spotting insincerity or exaggerated stories. They want to get to know the real you—your genuine thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Here’s how you can ensure your essay reflects your true self. Do not use AI to generate a college essay! College admissions counselors can see through that and it does not look good that you did not take the time to write it yourself. They want to hear your voice not an AI generated one. 

Write in Your Own Voice - Your essay should sound like you. Avoid using overly formal language or vocabulary that you wouldn’t typically use in conversation. While it’s important to be clear and articulate, don’t sacrifice your natural voice for the sake of sounding impressive. Imagine you’re having a conversation with a friend or family member and let your personality shine through your writing. This approach makes your essay more relatable and engaging.

Share Your True Experiences - Don’t feel pressured to fabricate or embellish your experiences to make them seem more significant. Admissions officers are more interested in genuine, heartfelt stories than exaggerated achievements. Reflect on your life and identify moments that have truly impacted you, no matter how small they may seem. Authenticity often lies in the details of everyday life, such as the lessons learned from a part-time job or the personal growth achieved through a family responsibility.

Reflect on Your Values and Beliefs - Your college essay is an opportunity to share what matters most to you. Reflect on your core values and beliefs and how they have influenced your actions and decisions. Being honest about what you stand for helps paint a fuller picture of who you are. For example, if you value community service, discuss why it’s important to you and how it has shaped your perspective and future aspirations.

Embrace Vulnerability - Being authentic sometimes means being vulnerable. Don’t shy away from discussing challenges or failures. Admissions officers appreciate honesty and resilience. Sharing how you’ve faced and overcome difficulties can demonstrate your character and determination. Vulnerability can also make your essay more relatable and human. For example, discussing a time when you struggled with self-doubt and how you worked through it can be incredibly powerful.

Show Your Passion - Let your passions and interests come through in your essay. Whether it’s a love for coding, a fascination with history, or a dedication to social justice, sharing what excites you gives insight into your personality and motivations. Passionate writing is often more compelling and engaging, making your essay memorable to admissions officers.

Be Honest About Your Aspirations - Discussing your future goals and aspirations can help admissions officers understand what drives you. Be honest about what you hope to achieve and why. Whether your dreams are grand or modest, explaining your motivations and how you plan to pursue them can provide a clear sense of your direction and purpose.

Seek Feedback & Maintain Your Voice - It’s beneficial to seek feedback from teachers, counselors, or trusted friends and family members. They can offer valuable perspectives and help you identify areas for improvement. However, ensure that any revisions you make still reflect your voice and ideas. Too much external influence can dilute the authenticity of your essay.

Being authentic in your college essay allows admissions officers to see the real you. Write in your own voice, share your true experiences, and reflect on your values and beliefs. Embrace vulnerability, avoid clichés, and show your passion. Honest writing is not only more compelling but also helps you stand out as a genuine and relatable applicant. By being true to yourself, you can create an essay that is both powerful and memorable.

Step Eight: Highlight Your Growth and Learning

Colleges are interested in your personal growth and how you’ve learned from your experiences. When discussing challenges or significant events, focus on what you’ve gained from them. How have these experiences shaped your character, values, or perspective? Highlighting your growth demonstrates maturity and self-awareness.

Additionally, showcasing your growth involves reflecting on the process of how you overcame obstacles and what specific steps you took to address them. Did you seek advice from mentors, develop new skills, or change your approach to problems? By detailing the actions you took and the lessons you learned, you provide a clearer picture of your resilience and adaptability. This level of introspection not only highlights your ability to grow from experiences but also shows that you can critically evaluate and learn from your life events. Admissions officers are looking for students who can thrive in a dynamic college environment, and demonstrating your capacity for growth and learning through your essay can significantly strengthen your application.

Step Nine: Maintain a Clear Focus

Stay focused on the main theme or message of your essay. Avoid the temptation to cover too many topics or include irrelevant details. Each paragraph should support and build upon your central theme. A clear focus ensures your essay is coherent and impactful.

Maintaining a clear focus also involves being selective about the anecdotes and examples you choose to include. Each story or detail should directly relate to and reinforce your main message. It’s easy to get sidetracked by interesting but tangential experiences; however, including these can dilute the impact of your essay. Be mindful of how each part of your essay contributes to the overall narrative. If a detail doesn’t serve to advance your main point or theme, it’s best to leave it out. This approach not only helps to keep your essay concise and on topic but also makes it more powerful and memorable. By staying laser-focused on your central message, you ensure that your essay delivers a compelling and cohesive story that effectively communicates who you are and what you stand for.